Grief

This weekend I’m super blessed to be part of a writers workshop in London being run by Hay House. So far it’s been a wonderfully enriching experience, and I’m very much looking forward to today’s instalment.

Yesterday I got chatting with the lady next to me, and we got on to the topic of grief. We have a speaker coming up today, Kris Carr, whose book is titled ‘I’m not a Mourning Person’. This directed our conversation towards our own experiences of bereavement and grief. And, unusually, we both shared a similar view on the matter…

You may already know that I’ve experienced a fair amount of bereavement in my life, as had this wonderful soul sitting next to me. Yet, neither of us find death sad. Sure, there are times we miss our loved ones, but that doesn’t fill us with sadness. Now I know this isn’t a common response to death, but I’ve never even cried at a funeral. I’ve spent years judging myself for this and thinking I’m emotionally stunted or simply a robot, but I’ve also done the work around this to understand why I’m like this.

I believe that there is no end to life. That these meat sacks we call our human bodies are simply a vessel for this part of the adventure. And sometimes our bodies aren’t the most pleasant places for our spirits to reside. In our human experience we suffer. It’s the nature of being a physical entity, of having a vehicle to operate. If we don’t treat our bodies properly, which lets be honest, most of us don’t! Then we’re going to experience dis-ease.

So when I saw my Dad suffering from Motor Neurone Disease, I didn’t feel sad when he died. I felt relief and happiness for him. I was relieved he was no longer suffering, and I was happy he’s gotten to hop onto his next adventure.

He was never scared of death. It was the suffering that he feared. And this is exactly why I don’t find death sad. Most of us live too long anyway, pickled by drugs and living in a society where ‘preservation of life’ is our number one goal. But what’s the point of preserving life if you can’t live your life? There are so many 90 year olds who are lonely, immobile, confused and ready to move onto their next adventure. And instead of giving them that dignity, like we would a beloved pet, we allow them to suffer in the quest to preserve life.

Now I’m not normally one to pay attention to celebrity news, but this morning, as we all wake up to the news of the passing of Matthew Perry, I encourage you to consider the prospect that his suffering is over, and that he’s off enjoying his new adventure. I’m not saying don’t be sad, that’s a me thing. Just try to take a moment to appreciate how much joy his spirit could be experiencing right now, and to be grateful for all the joy he brought into our lives.

I’m so looking forward to Kris Carr’s talk today, along with another day spent within a room of aspiring authors. I think this along with yesterday’s conversation and today’s news headline, has prompted me to consider my intentions as an author. I’ve been working on a series of children’s books with a diverse cast and a deep spiritual undertone. I’d planned on touching on the subject of adoption and early life trauma, given the nature of my family. But I hadn’t given consideration to the aspect of grief through bereavement within my cast of critters.

So for today, I feel inspired. Inspired by great conversations with strangers, inspired by incredible authors and their stories, and inspired by the death of an actor who was an integral part of my early, formative adult years.

Much love and namaste to you all on this Sunday.

Luke 🙏🏻💛