Hyperawareness or Ignorance is Bliss?

I’ve been treading this path for around fifteen years or so, now. It first began with yoga on the WiiFit, which quickly developed into attending a class. I was then introduced to mediumship, and the medium further introduced me to meditation, and so the story unfolded…

Fast forward to almost sixteen years later, and here I am, running my own wellbeing centre. Through my chosen wellbeing and spiritual practices, my beliefs and my curious mind, I’m totally immersed in a depth of hyperawareness, every day.

💛 Awareness of my body

💛 Awareness of my mindset

💛 Awareness of my emotional state

💛 Awareness of my spiritual connection

💛 Awareness of my kids

💛 Awareness of those I love

💛 Awareness of those I don’t

💛 Awareness of human behaviour

💛 Awareness of the world around me

💛 Awareness of the world we live in

💛 Awareness of the bigger picture

It’s exhausting.

But, I’m also aware of how oblivious I was for the first 24 years of my life. I was living my life with almost zero awareness. My body, mind, emotions and spirit had no conscious connection between them, and I simply lived by doing as I was told.

And in many respects, this level of ignorance was bliss. I often grieve for the days when I could fall asleep without thinking, where I could escape with alcohol, where I could numb dis-ease with medication, where I could eat whatever I wanted and not consider the consequences, where I took people for face value, and where the ‘rules’ felt safe.

But I can no longer do these things. I’m too aware, I know too much. And some days, it drives me to absolute insanity.

😭 I wish other people’s ignorance didn’t make me so angry

😭 I wish I didn’t feel the dis-ease in my body every day

😭 I wish I didn’t obsess over my future and the future of humanity

😭 I wish I didn’t feel challenged by every rule, policy, law and system

😭 I wish I wasn’t so attached to my morals and values that I constantly self-sabotage in the name of integrity

😭 I wish I wasn’t so mad at the world all the time!

However, if I wasn’t all these things, I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be living my truth. I wouldn’t be fulfilling my dreams. And I wouldn’t be happy.

For the first 24 years, I wasn’t happy. I didn’t love myself. And I didn’t even notice. At least now, my awareness allows me to know when I’m happy and when I’m not.

So here’s my new goal…how can I get comfortable with my hyperawareness? How can I not let it overwhelm me? How can I use it as my super power?

Luke, 3.0