I don’t drink. I stopped drinking around 10 years ago. And it’s amazing how this has influenced the people in my life. My social circles quickly changed. I stopped getting invited to things. I naturally stopped hanging out with certain people, because as it turns out, our friendships were seemingly reliant on alcohol. And when alcohol wasn’t a part of me, neither were those friendships. Fascinating, don’t you think?
But why did I stop drinking?
Many reasons really…
My tolerance for drunk people is low. My ex had a drink problem, and unfortunately I’m still scarred by this today. I’m also not the best drunk myself.
Then there’s health. The reflux and digestive issues were causing me agony. It just wasn’t worth it.
But mostly, I wanted to be more present. I learned to become comfortable with myself, to stop judging myself, and to enjoy being with myself. I no longer felt the need for escapism. And when you don’t need the escapism, there’s really no appeal.
Do I enjoy alcohol? Yes. I’ve had the odd mulled wine or holiday cocktail over the years. But I can count on two hands the amount of drinks I’ve had in the last 10 years. In fact, probably just one hand.
It was recently insinuated that there’s something wrong with me for not drinking. That I need to let loose and have a bit of fun. I find nothing more generic and boring than intoxicating myself to escape my reality. The hardcore people stay present in their shit. That’s exciting to me. There’s nothing more freeing than a clear mind.
Do I feel that I’m better than other people becuase I don’t drink? Honestly…I do feel a little smug sometimes! Because I genuinely feel hardcore for choosing not to drink. It’s difficult. It’s socially awkward. I’ve lost friendships in my pursuit of presence. I’ve sacrificed social interactions, events and collective memory making with people who have been in my life for many years.
But I’ve also made some amazing new friends, who also don’t drink. I’ve found new hobbies, new community and new fun. I’ve got a clear head, a clear conscience and better health. And my bank balance thanks me too!
What’s your experience of alcohol?
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