Before having children, I had all these preconceived ideas of what parenting ‘should’ look like. We read all the text books, went to all the classes, did some volunteering with children and spoke to the professionals (this is all part of the adoption process) - yet, we still weren’t truly prepared for the carnage of raising kids.
All of this stuff just taught us the techniques and skills of therapeutic parenting for kids with early life trauma. None of this stuff actually taught us how to care for or parent actual children. We were also never taught that parents get it wrong, a lot. All parents make mistakes. But most of the tools and resources out there focus on perfect parenting and getting it right all the time.
Let me tell you, it’s been a very steep learning curve. And the truth is, I’ve only really started to get my head around it in the last year or so. But also in this last year or so, I’ve realised that my greatest parenting moments have been when I’ve made mistakes, and how I’ve addressed those mistakes with my kids. I (hope) I’ve taught them the importance of acceptance, accountability, and apology. Because when I make mistakes, I don’t just let them slide. I process them, I talk to my kids about them, and I always strive to do better than before.
But even that gets a bit preachy. Because the thing is, I also repeat those mistakes sometimes. And herein lies the real key to parenting. I’m teaching my kids that it’s okay to be human. Human’s don’t do anything perfectly, including parenting, including learning from their mistakes, including growing and doing better. Because as humans, we’re entirely flawed. We’re living, breathing, heart beating mammals. Just because we have brains with the capacity to learn and communicate, it doesn’t mean we know what we’re doing! We’re all just figuring it out as we go along.
As long as our kids are safe, fed, clean and loved, that’s truly all that matters.
Now, if you want a giggle…here’s a list of things I was planning to implement as a theoretical parent…
😂 No TV
🤣 No tablets
🙈 No McDonald’s
🫣 No yelling
🤦🏻♂️ No ignoring them
😕 Cooking them healthy food every day
😵💫 Expecting them to behave in public
😱 No carrying them under my arm like a rugby ball when they’re having a tantrum in the school playground
🧘🏼♂️ Doing yoga with them every day
Phahahahahaaaaaaa 🤪
So next time somebody projects some theoretical parenting techniques or expectations onto you, just remember, you’re already doing great.
Big love to all the parents out there 💛🙏🏻
Comments